Thursday, August 12, 2010
MLM insider, network marketing leader-Ray Higdon and Fabiola Murphy
Be sure to attend all your company events, folks.
I wanted write this and share this video with you because it states the power of staying in the game. Going out to Tampa to attend our 1st annual Numis Network Convention was a blast! Connecting with the leaders is so valuable.
Ray shares with us how he won the beautiful BMW 7 series and how we can too.
The key is consistency
.
Feel free to comment, tweet, subscribe, and share with your friends :)
Go to http://www.FabFortuneNow.com for more information...
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Seven Steps to Success
When I look at those individuals that are successful in life and business, I notice that there are common denominators in all of them. I see that not only is success a state of mind, but also it is different for each and every individual. What success means to me may not have the same meaning for you. However, these seven factors remain the same in all meanings of success. It is a natural combination that when added to your personal Success Blueprint, you are at your happiest.
I will be going over these seven steps here over the next couple of weeks for you and I know you will find value in these posts. It really is no secret and I want to make sure you get a chance to learn about these strategies as I share them with you.
Throughout the ages, the successful ones have been written about and their “secrets” have been revealed to us in the wonderful works of Napoleon Hill, Brian Tracy, Og Mandino, Dale Carnegie and many more.
One of the first things to have set is your GOAL. What does YOUR success look like to you? Do you know? That is your first step. Do it today and write it out. What is your goal this week, this month, this year and your goal in 5 years. Where do you want to be in 5 years from today?
This will be your Blueprint. What your life looks like in 5 years from now. Add the seven steps I will go over in the next couple of weeks and you are golden…on your way to YOUR success…
To Your Success…
I will be going over these seven steps here over the next couple of weeks for you and I know you will find value in these posts. It really is no secret and I want to make sure you get a chance to learn about these strategies as I share them with you.
Throughout the ages, the successful ones have been written about and their “secrets” have been revealed to us in the wonderful works of Napoleon Hill, Brian Tracy, Og Mandino, Dale Carnegie and many more.
One of the first things to have set is your GOAL. What does YOUR success look like to you? Do you know? That is your first step. Do it today and write it out. What is your goal this week, this month, this year and your goal in 5 years. Where do you want to be in 5 years from today?
This will be your Blueprint. What your life looks like in 5 years from now. Add the seven steps I will go over in the next couple of weeks and you are golden…on your way to YOUR success…
To Your Success…
Friday, May 14, 2010
Have a Job or Own a Business??
My son explained yesterday to me that he was not going to go to college after all and that he was going to go straight to work. You can only imagine what was going through my head at the time. I began thinking all these years of making sure he had a good education with private schools, etc and now he’s not going to college? Just last month, he had decided that he would go to UCSD. Hmmm. Was he trying to be funny? He tends to do that sometimes. He is sixteen. He has wanted to attend UCSD for a couple of years now. It is a beautiful campus here in San Diego.
I began thinking about this and in fact obsess over it. So this morning, I decided to do some research on highest paid careers in 2009. They all require a college degree, obviously.
According to the US Bureau of Labors Statistics many of the top 10 were in the medical field; Surgeons, Anesthesiologists, Orthodontists, etc with an average income of $195,000. The highest paid non-medical careers are Chief Executives, Lawyers, Engineering Managers, Financial Managers, and Sales Managers with an average income of $140,000. Next, the highest paid IT jobs had an average income of $100,000.
What do all these careers have in common? I know many people in almost all of these professions and they would say hard work, long hours, high stress and not enough time in the day to actually spend time with their families. There is also the fear of not having a job is always out there. However, they make a good living and provide for their families.
When I began looking for the wealthiest people, I looked at the top 3 according to Forbes. They were Carlos Slim, Bill Gates, and Warren Buffet. What do these 3 have in common? They are business owners and investors, not employees. They understand leveraging their time and money. Most business owners do.
According to Robert Kiyosaki of the famed Rich Dad, Poor Dad series, he states that his Rich Dad said to him, “The poor and middle class work hard for their money. The rich have their money work for them.” Robert Kiyosaki also says that the richest people in the world look for and build networks, everyone else looks for work.
Interesting, isn’t it? It is to me. Now, I am not endorsing being wealthy is the only way to live and we all know that money doesn’t make you happy, however, we live in a society where we trade money for our food, clothes, education, transportation, shelter, etc. Happiness comes from within and an inner peace with oneself. To have the free time to do the things that make you happy, spending time with the people you love most, and free of financial stress requires money in the bank.
Relationship marking and direct sales is the solution to all of these. Relationship marketing/network marketing is not a get rich quick business. It is a business that you must build, just like any other traditional business. The rewards and benefits to owning and building a relationship marketing business are many including leveraging time and money, owning your own business, small start up costs, personal development, and becoming financially free with residual income that continues to come in month after month. This can happen within 5 years if you choose. The start-up costs of a relationship marketing business ranges from $100 to $1000. Compare that to traditional business start-up costs.
In fact, Donald Trump also endorses the Network Marketing Industry. In a quote from a recent press release, Trump claims that the multi-billion dollar government bailout of the financial system isn’t working and that the American dream has been hijacked. He claims that those who join now have the opportunity to “opt out of the current recession.” He also states, “this program will attract people who want and need to diversify their income.”
So now I think of my sixteen year old son. He will still attend college. It is a great place to learn many skills and make amazing contacts with future business owners. In fact, this boy has been an entrepreneur since he was very little. I remember when he would try to sell his toys from the front yard. I also remember when he and his brother would “rent” our driveway out during big beach days like 4th of July. One year, they made $100 just by renting out our driveway.
He is a smart kid. I know he will do well in whatever he chooses to do. He still has time to figure that out.
Do you still have time? Do you have time to ponder what you will do when you grow up? Not likely. Network marketing and direct sales is not for everyone but it is an amazing option for those who want financial freedom. I love it. You might to. Go to www.FabFortuneNow.com to join one of the fastest growing network marketing companies around.
I began thinking about this and in fact obsess over it. So this morning, I decided to do some research on highest paid careers in 2009. They all require a college degree, obviously.
According to the US Bureau of Labors Statistics many of the top 10 were in the medical field; Surgeons, Anesthesiologists, Orthodontists, etc with an average income of $195,000. The highest paid non-medical careers are Chief Executives, Lawyers, Engineering Managers, Financial Managers, and Sales Managers with an average income of $140,000. Next, the highest paid IT jobs had an average income of $100,000.
What do all these careers have in common? I know many people in almost all of these professions and they would say hard work, long hours, high stress and not enough time in the day to actually spend time with their families. There is also the fear of not having a job is always out there. However, they make a good living and provide for their families.
When I began looking for the wealthiest people, I looked at the top 3 according to Forbes. They were Carlos Slim, Bill Gates, and Warren Buffet. What do these 3 have in common? They are business owners and investors, not employees. They understand leveraging their time and money. Most business owners do.
According to Robert Kiyosaki of the famed Rich Dad, Poor Dad series, he states that his Rich Dad said to him, “The poor and middle class work hard for their money. The rich have their money work for them.” Robert Kiyosaki also says that the richest people in the world look for and build networks, everyone else looks for work.
Interesting, isn’t it? It is to me. Now, I am not endorsing being wealthy is the only way to live and we all know that money doesn’t make you happy, however, we live in a society where we trade money for our food, clothes, education, transportation, shelter, etc. Happiness comes from within and an inner peace with oneself. To have the free time to do the things that make you happy, spending time with the people you love most, and free of financial stress requires money in the bank.
Relationship marking and direct sales is the solution to all of these. Relationship marketing/network marketing is not a get rich quick business. It is a business that you must build, just like any other traditional business. The rewards and benefits to owning and building a relationship marketing business are many including leveraging time and money, owning your own business, small start up costs, personal development, and becoming financially free with residual income that continues to come in month after month. This can happen within 5 years if you choose. The start-up costs of a relationship marketing business ranges from $100 to $1000. Compare that to traditional business start-up costs.
In fact, Donald Trump also endorses the Network Marketing Industry. In a quote from a recent press release, Trump claims that the multi-billion dollar government bailout of the financial system isn’t working and that the American dream has been hijacked. He claims that those who join now have the opportunity to “opt out of the current recession.” He also states, “this program will attract people who want and need to diversify their income.”
So now I think of my sixteen year old son. He will still attend college. It is a great place to learn many skills and make amazing contacts with future business owners. In fact, this boy has been an entrepreneur since he was very little. I remember when he would try to sell his toys from the front yard. I also remember when he and his brother would “rent” our driveway out during big beach days like 4th of July. One year, they made $100 just by renting out our driveway.
He is a smart kid. I know he will do well in whatever he chooses to do. He still has time to figure that out.
Do you still have time? Do you have time to ponder what you will do when you grow up? Not likely. Network marketing and direct sales is not for everyone but it is an amazing option for those who want financial freedom. I love it. You might to. Go to www.FabFortuneNow.com to join one of the fastest growing network marketing companies around.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
This isn't a sprint, it's a marathon...
Hello everyone out there!
I ran my first race this past weekend and it made me realize how much it relates to our industry in Network Marketing. I would like to share my experience with you today now that my body is feeling better and I had time to reflect on the race...
But first, I want to share a little about how I came to run this "marathon".
On February 28th while I was at the More Heart Than Talent "Breakthroughs to Success" weekend seminar hosted by the great Jeffery Combs, I had decided to not only quit smoking, but also begin running. I had a lot of support from the individuals there at the weekend event. It was a very emotional decision since I had been smoking for so long to suppress certain feelings and be rebellious. It has not been easy, in fact after the event I continued to smoke and never put on my running shoes.
April rolls around and nothing has changed except for the fact that I wanted to stop smoking and be more productive in my business. I decided to stop smoking once and for all after an eye opening conversation with Jeffery Combs.
So the next day I set a date to stop smoking, April 28. I decided not to look back. This is it, April 28 and it's over. I did not pick up a cigarette and felt sad, as if losing a friend and then unorganized. Things began to feel chaotic all around me. I knew this would happen as the withdrawals would show themselves physically and emotionally. I was ready for this. I would handle it and be strong.
I was feeling sick. Nauseous and a constant headache loomed over me day in and day out, but I was not going to give into the addiction. Wow, it's just nicotine, I thought. At least I’m not a drug addict or an alcoholic. Interesting how we disillusion ourselves into thinking our addiction is never as bad as the next guy when in fact it is probably worse!
A friend had invited my husband and I to her Boston Marathon Congratulations party at her home. She had completed the Boston Marathon and wanted to share the experience and photos with us. It was a great accomplishment for her and a long time goal.
She began to tell us that there is a shorter run coming up and we should all do it. I said I would since it was one of my goals to begin running. I asked her to sign me up for the race.
This party was last week. I ran the race 6 days later. I didn’t think it would happen so soon but there it was. No training, no experience, nothing. Only 2 1/2 weeks of being smoke free. Three days before the race, I was physically sick, vomiting. In fact all week I was sick and weak.
I ran the race and made pretty good time.
How does this relate to our industry and our businesses? Simple answer really. It came down to a decision to just do it.
Think about this for a moment...
First- it is the excitement of doing it, saying to yourself I can do this, this is awesome! I'm sooo excited! Everyone around you pumped up. You have your goal or your finish line in mind. You know "why" you decided to sign up for this. Then the timer goes off and you hit the gates running feeling the adrenaline pump through your body as you take off with a smile on your face thinking, "Yeah! This is awesome; this is going to be easy."
Second- it begins to get a little difficult. You're tired and thinking, "What did I get myself into? What made me think I can do this?" Then you picture the finish line, your goal. This is why you can do this. Just remember to take one step at a time. Put one foot in front of the other.
Then- you look up and see this hill in front of you. Oh man, I can’t' take that hill! Who put that hill there? I didn’t know there were going to be hills, too! Just remember the goal, remember the finish line, and keep the end in mind and in front of you at all times. One foot in front of the other, this isn't a sprint, it's a marathon...
And then whew, with perseverance, you made it to the top of the hill. It feels good and now the rest of the way is smooth sailing, or so you think.
Smooth sailing for a little while, then you begin to struggle. You're not excited anymore. You're tired and want to stop. You see another turn in front of you and you don't think you can make that turn, forget trying to get to the finish line...
You see every single one of those feelings and thoughts were running through me while running. I know that every single one of you have had those same thoughts and feelings in your business, too. All the leaders have as well. Ask them. They will tell you that they started off excited, began to tire or burn out. They had their hills or obstacles they had to deal with. They had their struggles. We all do.
The difference is the perseverance and remembering to keep the goal and finish line in front of you at all times and continue to put one foot in front of the other, one step at a time. You will get there. Believe you can. I did.
Towards the end of the run, I began to struggle big time. My chest was hurting; I was hot, tired, and cramping. A woman ran next to me and must have seen the struggle in my face. She said to me smiling, "We're almost there, you can do it." Yeah right, I thought as I smiled back at her. I am about to pass out here and I still can't see the finish line. Who knows what’s around this corner I am approaching. However, I picked myself up and pushed forward. Guess what, she was right. As I turned the corner, the finish line was just up ahead. Seeing the finish line switched something in my head and I ran the rest of the way without feeling the pain anymore.
That brings me to another point. How many people give up and or quit after a couple of hills? How many give up or quit right before turning the corner? So many individuals quit not realizing how close they were to the finish line and their goals. You will never know how close you were to success if you stop putting one foot in front of the other.
Remember this, in business as well as any goal you desire to achieve; it is 10% training, 90% mental attitude.
I ran that race with no training, 2 1/2 weeks smoke free, physically sick the week before and finished with great time. It was my first race.
I committed to it, believed I could do it, persevered, and envisioned my finish line every step of the way.
I want to thank the great Jeffery Combs for his amazing encouragement.
If I can do it, you can. Just do it...
I ran my first race this past weekend and it made me realize how much it relates to our industry in Network Marketing. I would like to share my experience with you today now that my body is feeling better and I had time to reflect on the race...
But first, I want to share a little about how I came to run this "marathon".
On February 28th while I was at the More Heart Than Talent "Breakthroughs to Success" weekend seminar hosted by the great Jeffery Combs, I had decided to not only quit smoking, but also begin running. I had a lot of support from the individuals there at the weekend event. It was a very emotional decision since I had been smoking for so long to suppress certain feelings and be rebellious. It has not been easy, in fact after the event I continued to smoke and never put on my running shoes.
April rolls around and nothing has changed except for the fact that I wanted to stop smoking and be more productive in my business. I decided to stop smoking once and for all after an eye opening conversation with Jeffery Combs.
So the next day I set a date to stop smoking, April 28. I decided not to look back. This is it, April 28 and it's over. I did not pick up a cigarette and felt sad, as if losing a friend and then unorganized. Things began to feel chaotic all around me. I knew this would happen as the withdrawals would show themselves physically and emotionally. I was ready for this. I would handle it and be strong.
I was feeling sick. Nauseous and a constant headache loomed over me day in and day out, but I was not going to give into the addiction. Wow, it's just nicotine, I thought. At least I’m not a drug addict or an alcoholic. Interesting how we disillusion ourselves into thinking our addiction is never as bad as the next guy when in fact it is probably worse!
A friend had invited my husband and I to her Boston Marathon Congratulations party at her home. She had completed the Boston Marathon and wanted to share the experience and photos with us. It was a great accomplishment for her and a long time goal.
She began to tell us that there is a shorter run coming up and we should all do it. I said I would since it was one of my goals to begin running. I asked her to sign me up for the race.
This party was last week. I ran the race 6 days later. I didn’t think it would happen so soon but there it was. No training, no experience, nothing. Only 2 1/2 weeks of being smoke free. Three days before the race, I was physically sick, vomiting. In fact all week I was sick and weak.
I ran the race and made pretty good time.
How does this relate to our industry and our businesses? Simple answer really. It came down to a decision to just do it.
Think about this for a moment...
First- it is the excitement of doing it, saying to yourself I can do this, this is awesome! I'm sooo excited! Everyone around you pumped up. You have your goal or your finish line in mind. You know "why" you decided to sign up for this. Then the timer goes off and you hit the gates running feeling the adrenaline pump through your body as you take off with a smile on your face thinking, "Yeah! This is awesome; this is going to be easy."
Second- it begins to get a little difficult. You're tired and thinking, "What did I get myself into? What made me think I can do this?" Then you picture the finish line, your goal. This is why you can do this. Just remember to take one step at a time. Put one foot in front of the other.
Then- you look up and see this hill in front of you. Oh man, I can’t' take that hill! Who put that hill there? I didn’t know there were going to be hills, too! Just remember the goal, remember the finish line, and keep the end in mind and in front of you at all times. One foot in front of the other, this isn't a sprint, it's a marathon...
And then whew, with perseverance, you made it to the top of the hill. It feels good and now the rest of the way is smooth sailing, or so you think.
Smooth sailing for a little while, then you begin to struggle. You're not excited anymore. You're tired and want to stop. You see another turn in front of you and you don't think you can make that turn, forget trying to get to the finish line...
You see every single one of those feelings and thoughts were running through me while running. I know that every single one of you have had those same thoughts and feelings in your business, too. All the leaders have as well. Ask them. They will tell you that they started off excited, began to tire or burn out. They had their hills or obstacles they had to deal with. They had their struggles. We all do.
The difference is the perseverance and remembering to keep the goal and finish line in front of you at all times and continue to put one foot in front of the other, one step at a time. You will get there. Believe you can. I did.
Towards the end of the run, I began to struggle big time. My chest was hurting; I was hot, tired, and cramping. A woman ran next to me and must have seen the struggle in my face. She said to me smiling, "We're almost there, you can do it." Yeah right, I thought as I smiled back at her. I am about to pass out here and I still can't see the finish line. Who knows what’s around this corner I am approaching. However, I picked myself up and pushed forward. Guess what, she was right. As I turned the corner, the finish line was just up ahead. Seeing the finish line switched something in my head and I ran the rest of the way without feeling the pain anymore.
That brings me to another point. How many people give up and or quit after a couple of hills? How many give up or quit right before turning the corner? So many individuals quit not realizing how close they were to the finish line and their goals. You will never know how close you were to success if you stop putting one foot in front of the other.
Remember this, in business as well as any goal you desire to achieve; it is 10% training, 90% mental attitude.
I ran that race with no training, 2 1/2 weeks smoke free, physically sick the week before and finished with great time. It was my first race.
I committed to it, believed I could do it, persevered, and envisioned my finish line every step of the way.
I want to thank the great Jeffery Combs for his amazing encouragement.
If I can do it, you can. Just do it...
Monday, May 3, 2010
Fake It Till You Make It
I wanted to share this post from Darren Hardy at Success Magazine. He always has great insight and enjoys assisting others towards their Success.
So here it goes....
Fake It Till You Make It
Please don’t.
I just finished writing my commentary for our forthcoming SUCCESS Audio Series issue that is based on developing professional and other relationships. I thought you might enjoy the insight of these thoughts as well.
Hey, by the way, how do you like my new (blog) look? Groovy, eh? I have to thank Dimi Arthontidis for his always super cool design chops and our web service wizards led by Mr. Sunshine, Ryan Means—thanks guys! And I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank Todd Smith fromwww.LittleThingsMatter.com who inspired my blog envy to try to make mine as fly as his.
Six ways to give you the relationship edge in business and in life.
Here is tip No. 1 and maybe the most important one of all…
1. Be real, be transparent, be authentic and be yourself… I mean your REAL self. Too often people spend incredible amounts of energy trying to project themselves as something they’re not. Most of their conversation is spent trying to impress and they think they have everyone snookered.
Here is the reality: no one is fooled. People are always transparent… even when they think they aren’t. I’m sure you meet people all the time who say all the right things, look the part, but you just know, in your gut, even if you can’t put your intellectual finger on it, that they are full of hooey.
We are all intuitive and sensitive beings. We can feel the truth. We can sense authenticity and we can sense when it isn’t present. Projecting pretense only pushes people away from you—quickly and regularly. Your real self—the one that isn’t king of the hill, has fears, is concerned about family and has a genuine passion for a product, service or helping other people succeed—is far more attractive to people than anything else.
I think the era of “fake it till you make it” of the ‘80s and ‘90s has passed. People are smarter today and more than ever are looking for authenticity. Now let me be clear, no matter where you are in your business, in your financial success or in life, I DO want you to start dressing the part and walking the walk. I want you to start representing your elevated self. I want those things to be demonstrations of your new commitment to be better, show up better and live better. I’m talking about not fibbing on the truth.
2. Treat people…like people. I remember a mentor of mine when I was in real estate corrected me on this. I was having a discussion and I showed him my “Hit List” of target prospects. He said, “Hit List? Who wants to be your next HIT?! These are real people, real families, who will be going through one of the most emotional transactions of their life, involving the most valuable asset they own—their home. Not until this list is considered the list of those families whom you will help, protect and fight for next, will they be interested in what you have to say.” That was great advice. It is not just semantics; it is an entirely different philosophy, mindset and emotional approach to every conversation and human interaction.
Don’t treat people like targets, capital, pawns or even prospects or just customers. Treat people like people… people with real desires, fears, hopes, wishes, worries, dreams and ambitions… just like you.
3. Take a sincere interest in other people. The best way to do this is to talk less and listen more. Make fewer statements, ask more questions. Everyone wants to work on their script: What do I say? Instead, it’s better to work on your questions. What questions will draw people out so they talk about their real values, interests, hopes and desires. Once others express what they really want, it’s much easier to match your potential solution to their real and personally expressed needs.
4. Always be positive. Be the one who brightens a room and every conversation you enter. It is easy to pile on to a complaint fest or add to the rousing gossip, but you will actually be perceived better by others if you don’t join them in that talk.
I am always supremely impressed when I witness someone turn down the opportunity to talk negatively about someone else, even if it would have been only to agree with the one speaking or join the company of misery talk.
Let your reputation and brand become those of positivity, grace and class. These rare qualities are what people look for in others. Be the standout.
5. Recognize others. Give people honest and sincere appreciation. Take a page from Catherine the Great’s book: “Praise loudly, blame softly.” Catch people doing things right and acknowledge them. Congratulate others on their accomplishments; celebrate others’ victories. Find at least a dozen ways to compliment, congratulate or appreciate someone else’s work, contribution or successes every day.
Be so busy giving other people recognition that you don’t need any yourself. Do that and people will swarm to you like bees to honey.
6. Give. Most people are only after getting… and they wonder why they don’t. Look for ways to contribute, provide, help, offer and assist. This goes back to the golden rule of relationships that Zig Ziglar taught us, “You can have everything in life that you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” Give first, give often and give last. Give, give and give.
I see my relationships as bank accounts (psychologically, not emotionally), the more I deposit the more valuable I am to that person and the more I have on account with them. There might come a time when I need to make a small withdrawal, but I always want to be on the positive side of the ledger. My objective is to create a great surplus of wealth in as many accounts (or people) as possible by depositing as much as I can as often as I can.
This is how I use social media and my blog. All I want to do is give value, distribute value and contribute value, not to sell, promote or “get.” I use those platforms to help, serve, give and contribute. Each tweet, each posting on Facebook, each article on this blog, is completely focused on providing ideas, insights and resources to help people become more successful. As a result, I think, if the numbers and comments you leave me don’t lie, I am perceived to be a very valuable relationship for tens of thousands of people. Very rarely do I recommend something I own or benefit from, and if I do it’s because I know it will serve the subject we are discussing and the other person’s goals or objectives.
That is what I recommend you do—seek to help, give, assist, empower and support. Build a reputation as one who wants to give and help others… and as Zig promises, in return you will GET everything you want in life.
What are your best tips on making quality connections and building meaningful professional relationships? Share your ideas in the comments below.
Oh, and let me know what you think about the new blog look!
Share this post
ShareThis
Tags: Darren, fake it, Hardy, make it, publisher, Relationships, SUCCESS
This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 13th, 2010 at 11:00 am and is filed under SUCCESS. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Comments (92)Trackbacks
So here it goes....
Fake It Till You Make It
Please don’t.
I just finished writing my commentary for our forthcoming SUCCESS Audio Series issue that is based on developing professional and other relationships. I thought you might enjoy the insight of these thoughts as well.
Hey, by the way, how do you like my new (blog) look? Groovy, eh? I have to thank Dimi Arthontidis for his always super cool design chops and our web service wizards led by Mr. Sunshine, Ryan Means—thanks guys! And I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank Todd Smith fromwww.LittleThingsMatter.com who inspired my blog envy to try to make mine as fly as his.
Six ways to give you the relationship edge in business and in life.
Here is tip No. 1 and maybe the most important one of all…
1. Be real, be transparent, be authentic and be yourself… I mean your REAL self. Too often people spend incredible amounts of energy trying to project themselves as something they’re not. Most of their conversation is spent trying to impress and they think they have everyone snookered.
Here is the reality: no one is fooled. People are always transparent… even when they think they aren’t. I’m sure you meet people all the time who say all the right things, look the part, but you just know, in your gut, even if you can’t put your intellectual finger on it, that they are full of hooey.
We are all intuitive and sensitive beings. We can feel the truth. We can sense authenticity and we can sense when it isn’t present. Projecting pretense only pushes people away from you—quickly and regularly. Your real self—the one that isn’t king of the hill, has fears, is concerned about family and has a genuine passion for a product, service or helping other people succeed—is far more attractive to people than anything else.
I think the era of “fake it till you make it” of the ‘80s and ‘90s has passed. People are smarter today and more than ever are looking for authenticity. Now let me be clear, no matter where you are in your business, in your financial success or in life, I DO want you to start dressing the part and walking the walk. I want you to start representing your elevated self. I want those things to be demonstrations of your new commitment to be better, show up better and live better. I’m talking about not fibbing on the truth.
2. Treat people…like people. I remember a mentor of mine when I was in real estate corrected me on this. I was having a discussion and I showed him my “Hit List” of target prospects. He said, “Hit List? Who wants to be your next HIT?! These are real people, real families, who will be going through one of the most emotional transactions of their life, involving the most valuable asset they own—their home. Not until this list is considered the list of those families whom you will help, protect and fight for next, will they be interested in what you have to say.” That was great advice. It is not just semantics; it is an entirely different philosophy, mindset and emotional approach to every conversation and human interaction.
Don’t treat people like targets, capital, pawns or even prospects or just customers. Treat people like people… people with real desires, fears, hopes, wishes, worries, dreams and ambitions… just like you.
3. Take a sincere interest in other people. The best way to do this is to talk less and listen more. Make fewer statements, ask more questions. Everyone wants to work on their script: What do I say? Instead, it’s better to work on your questions. What questions will draw people out so they talk about their real values, interests, hopes and desires. Once others express what they really want, it’s much easier to match your potential solution to their real and personally expressed needs.
4. Always be positive. Be the one who brightens a room and every conversation you enter. It is easy to pile on to a complaint fest or add to the rousing gossip, but you will actually be perceived better by others if you don’t join them in that talk.
I am always supremely impressed when I witness someone turn down the opportunity to talk negatively about someone else, even if it would have been only to agree with the one speaking or join the company of misery talk.
Let your reputation and brand become those of positivity, grace and class. These rare qualities are what people look for in others. Be the standout.
5. Recognize others. Give people honest and sincere appreciation. Take a page from Catherine the Great’s book: “Praise loudly, blame softly.” Catch people doing things right and acknowledge them. Congratulate others on their accomplishments; celebrate others’ victories. Find at least a dozen ways to compliment, congratulate or appreciate someone else’s work, contribution or successes every day.
Be so busy giving other people recognition that you don’t need any yourself. Do that and people will swarm to you like bees to honey.
6. Give. Most people are only after getting… and they wonder why they don’t. Look for ways to contribute, provide, help, offer and assist. This goes back to the golden rule of relationships that Zig Ziglar taught us, “You can have everything in life that you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” Give first, give often and give last. Give, give and give.
I see my relationships as bank accounts (psychologically, not emotionally), the more I deposit the more valuable I am to that person and the more I have on account with them. There might come a time when I need to make a small withdrawal, but I always want to be on the positive side of the ledger. My objective is to create a great surplus of wealth in as many accounts (or people) as possible by depositing as much as I can as often as I can.
This is how I use social media and my blog. All I want to do is give value, distribute value and contribute value, not to sell, promote or “get.” I use those platforms to help, serve, give and contribute. Each tweet, each posting on Facebook, each article on this blog, is completely focused on providing ideas, insights and resources to help people become more successful. As a result, I think, if the numbers and comments you leave me don’t lie, I am perceived to be a very valuable relationship for tens of thousands of people. Very rarely do I recommend something I own or benefit from, and if I do it’s because I know it will serve the subject we are discussing and the other person’s goals or objectives.
That is what I recommend you do—seek to help, give, assist, empower and support. Build a reputation as one who wants to give and help others… and as Zig promises, in return you will GET everything you want in life.
What are your best tips on making quality connections and building meaningful professional relationships? Share your ideas in the comments below.
Oh, and let me know what you think about the new blog look!
Share this post
ShareThis
Tags: Darren, fake it, Hardy, make it, publisher, Relationships, SUCCESS
This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 13th, 2010 at 11:00 am and is filed under SUCCESS. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Comments (92)Trackbacks
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)